There will never be another day like your wedding day. The flowers will never be the same, the songs will never be sung in the same way, the same people will never be in a collective group again. It sounds like I’m setting you up for a rather depressing blog post, but no. It is actually very much the opposite. The uniqueness is what makes your wedding day so absolutely thrilling.
This past weekend, I was in a wedding of a very dear friend. Ironically, it has been just a little over a year since my wedding, and this weekend’s wedding took place at the same venue. The bride and bridesmaids got ready in the same place that me and my bridesmaids got ready. We walked the same path to the chapel. My husband and I actually got the privelage to walk down the aisle together…again…this time as bridesmaid and groomsman. And my favorite part, this wedding also had fajitas for dinner. Perfection. It was a beautiful wedding. Stunning, really. The weather was perfect. The music was powerful, emotional, and beautiful. The crowd danced the night a way. There was the perfect combination of rustic charm. It was almost as if we were having the most vivid case of deja vu. But…it wasn’t my wedding.
I had a fabulous weekend and I couldn’t have been happier for our dear friends, but the strangest, most unexpected feelings kept creeping up all weekend. I was jealous. What?! Yes. True story. It was so odd. I wasn’t jealous of the bride…or the groom…or the decor…or anything else in particular, really. It was more like I was jealous that here I was…back at our wedding venue…and I wanted to relive the day. Do it all over again. Because I had such a blast at my own and because I wanted to feel the butterflies and excitement as I walked down the aisle to my future husband. I get it. You think I’m weird. But seriously, I didn’t ask to feel this way.
Further, I loved being a spectator of my friend’s wedding. I realize I was in it, but I loved the fact that I could take everything in. Everything. You don’t get to do that as a bride. This weekend, I was able to step back, watch the big picture as it was happening, zoom in on the smaller scenes that I wanted to be more aware of…the ones I wanted to better commit to memory…and then zoom out again and continue soaking in all the details of the day. I can’t tell you how many times I want to go back and do that for my wedding. Pictures are worth 1,000 words. Oh, but there are so many words that aren’t included.
While wading through my strange and unexpected feelings, I had an epiphany. (I wish there were a more balanced word with a meaning between “thought” and “epiphany”….because what I’m about to share with you is neither of those things. It deserves more than a mere thought, but the world isn’t going to turn any faster because of my less-than-serious-epiphany. Oh well.) So here it is: If I were to do my wedding over again, I’d have a bona fide amateur videographer. A friend that does the stepping back and soaking in for me. A friend for sure. Not for hire. You see, I didn’t have a videographer at my wedding. A cold and impersonal account of my special day was not my cup of tea. I doubted I’d watch it enough to make up for the cost. HOWEVER, I wish I had someone…viewing it as a dear friend and as a guest of the wedding…that let me see it through their eyes. I’d want footage of the decor. I’d want to see Uncle Fred showin’ off his moves on the dance floor…the ones I missed because we got pulled away to talk to a long-lost third cousin. I’d like to be witness to people’s first impressions when they walked in to the reception and saw the atmosphere I had worked so hard on to plan and create. I’d find joy in listening in on the conversations the bridal party had about what they were going to do after the wedding that night. Simply put…I’d ask my friend to be my second pair of eyes (with a video camera in hand) and capture all those moments that I couldn’t and the ones that a professional wouldn’t think about.
But alas, I didn’t do that. I will continue to relive it in my mind’s eye and through the accounts of those I dearly love. It was a fabulous day indeed. One that I’ll remember always…in one way or another.
