Read this article. Soak it in. It’s good. Really good. It is written from a Christian perspective, but I believe EVERYONE could learn a little something from this tidbit of wisdom.
The article is beneficial for both bride and bridesmaid, so pass it on too.
I got the cutest wedding invitation in the mail the other day. I hung it on the refrigerator and even remarked on it to friends that came over. Weeks later, I was shopping at Target…and, hello!…there were the invitations, sitting humbly on the aisle shelf. I was amazed. Those beautiful invitations were from Target?! They were printed at home?! Brilliant. Loved it. Since then, I always pass by that aisle and notice the latest invitation designs brought to you by your local neighborhood store. Some are really quite stunning.
My cousin is getting married in January and has a limited budget (my favorite kind of wedding…truly). I was telling her that she can save some money by going to Target and getting invitations there. Then, I decided to go to Target.com and wow…their online selection is even more amazing. Here’s an examples:
So the disclaimer is this: First, I realize this isn’t for everyone. Second, the store itself has a lot that the site doesn’t have, so be sure to look their too. Also, you can make these little beauties even more stunning with colored ink. Be creative. If you find some that fit your theme…awesome, glad I could help!
I don’t get it. Since when are girls only friends with girls and boys only friends with boys? That’s never been a rule, right? So why are wedding parties organized that way?! It’s like a middle school dance for goodness’ sake! I recently saw a blog with bridesmen. I loved it. The bride’s closest friends were all men and she just didn’t feel right leaving them out. She couldn’t imagine her wedding without them by her side. How great is that?
Then I started thinking about groomswomen…why not?! I actually love this idea. Oh…and putting your siblings on your spouse’s side because they don’t fit the gender constraints…put ’em on your side! Let them stand beside YOU at your wedding. Let’s mix things up. Let’s do things because they make sense. Let’s include the people we WANT to include…regardless of expectations!
In case you haven’t heard, Kanye West lacks class. The pop-culture world is in an uproar over his latest display of disrespect which is completely understandable, and blogs, tweets, and facebooks are flooded with people’s outrage. As I am sitting here watching coverage of the spectacle, it makes me think…who hasn’t pulled something like this before?! Maybe we don’t do it at a world-wide, televised event and maybe our name and reputation isn’t known across the globe…but we’re guilty. Even more sad, we’re guilty of outright, public disrespect of our other halves…the ones we claim to love the most.
How many times have we stolen the limelight from our spouses or fiances?
How many times have we embarrassed them?
How many times have we disregarded their accomlishments?
This saddens me, and I’m done with it. It makes me want to do better. Way better. My hubby DOES NOT deserve Kanye-like treatment. He deserves the spotlight for soooo much. And I’m committed to giving it to him. In fact, I’ll be the one holding the light. Will you do the same?
So now you’ve got to change your last name…why is it that the guys have it so easy in this whole wedding process?! Ha. That’s another post, I guess. For now, I’ll focus on what you need to know to make yourself an official (insert groom’s last name here)!
First, just know that the task ahead of you isn’t impossible, and really…it isn’t that horrible. In fact, if you’re reading this as a soon-to-be married woman, you can start a lot of the paperwork now and save yourself some time later! So here’s the deal:
I hope this helps ease the headache for some of you. Remember, even though I’ve done the ground work for you, it never hurts to double-check my research. And just FYI, the driver’s license info is for Texas…in case you didn’t know. Aaaaaand, in case you’re still overwhelmed, there are services out there (just google ’em) that you can pay for that will basically fill out most of the forms for you. All you have to do is pull together the documents and show up to whichever office suits your fancy.
So I had a thought that hit me like a brick wall. So simple. Yet, so potentially life-changing. It could change our nation’s disturbing statistics. Here it goes…
So before we get married, many of us talk to friends, older married couples, and couples that are in the same stage of life as we are. We take classes (like these) and get counseling from our religious leaders. We read books (and blogs). We more closely watch the marriages around us. We do everything we can think of to prepare. Then we say “I do”. And then we have it figured out?!
Negative.
Why do we not continue to take classes? To soak in the wisdom of our elders? Keep reading? And why is marital counseling seen as a last ditch effort? Why can’t it be a preventive measure?
I will say, I know a FEW couples who have gone to a class or two to strengthen their marriage and I know couples that are beautifully intentional about seeking the wisdom of others. But these couples aren’t the norm. Tragic.
Be challenged. If you’re married, continue your “education”. If you’re on the path to marriage, commit to learning how to love and live together better long AFTER your big day.
There will never be another day like your wedding day. The flowers will never be the same, the songs will never be sung in the same way, the same people will never be in a collective group again. It sounds like I’m setting you up for a rather depressing blog post, but no. It is actually very much the opposite. The uniqueness is what makes your wedding day so absolutely thrilling.
This past weekend, I was in a wedding of a very dear friend. Ironically, it has been just a little over a year since my wedding, and this weekend’s wedding took place at the same venue. The bride and bridesmaids got ready in the same place that me and my bridesmaids got ready. We walked the same path to the chapel. My husband and I actually got the privelage to walk down the aisle together…again…this time as bridesmaid and groomsman. And my favorite part, this wedding also had fajitas for dinner. Perfection. It was a beautiful wedding. Stunning, really. The weather was perfect. The music was powerful, emotional, and beautiful. The crowd danced the night a way. There was the perfect combination of rustic charm. It was almost as if we were having the most vivid case of deja vu. But…it wasn’t my wedding.
I had a fabulous weekend and I couldn’t have been happier for our dear friends, but the strangest, most unexpected feelings kept creeping up all weekend. I was jealous. What?! Yes. True story. It was so odd. I wasn’t jealous of the bride…or the groom…or the decor…or anything else in particular, really. It was more like I was jealous that here I was…back at our wedding venue…and I wanted to relive the day. Do it all over again. Because I had such a blast at my own and because I wanted to feel the butterflies and excitement as I walked down the aisle to my future husband. I get it. You think I’m weird. But seriously, I didn’t ask to feel this way.
Further, I loved being a spectator of my friend’s wedding. I realize I was in it, but I loved the fact that I could take everything in. Everything. You don’t get to do that as a bride. This weekend, I was able to step back, watch the big picture as it was happening, zoom in on the smaller scenes that I wanted to be more aware of…the ones I wanted to better commit to memory…and then zoom out again and continue soaking in all the details of the day. I can’t tell you how many times I want to go back and do that for my wedding. Pictures are worth 1,000 words. Oh, but there are so many words that aren’t included.
While wading through my strange and unexpected feelings, I had an epiphany. (I wish there were a more balanced word with a meaning between “thought” and “epiphany”….because what I’m about to share with you is neither of those things. It deserves more than a mere thought, but the world isn’t going to turn any faster because of my less-than-serious-epiphany. Oh well.) So here it is: If I were to do my wedding over again, I’d have a bona fide amateur videographer. A friend that does the stepping back and soaking in for me. A friend for sure. Not for hire. You see, I didn’t have a videographer at my wedding. A cold and impersonal account of my special day was not my cup of tea. I doubted I’d watch it enough to make up for the cost. HOWEVER, I wish I had someone…viewing it as a dear friend and as a guest of the wedding…that let me see it through their eyes. I’d want footage of the decor. I’d want to see Uncle Fred showin’ off his moves on the dance floor…the ones I missed because we got pulled away to talk to a long-lost third cousin. I’d like to be witness to people’s first impressions when they walked in to the reception and saw the atmosphere I had worked so hard on to plan and create. I’d find joy in listening in on the conversations the bridal party had about what they were going to do after the wedding that night. Simply put…I’d ask my friend to be my second pair of eyes (with a video camera in hand) and capture all those moments that I couldn’t and the ones that a professional wouldn’t think about.
But alas, I didn’t do that. I will continue to relive it in my mind’s eye and through the accounts of those I dearly love. It was a fabulous day indeed. One that I’ll remember always…in one way or another.
I have a dear friend getting married in 19 days. Her story is very similar to a lot of brides out there: she’s stressed. In general, she is a pretty chill person and she has been amazingly calm during the entire wedding process (which, I might add, was only 4 months!). The problem, like many brides, is that her wedding is not the only thing on her plate. In fact, it isn’t even the most pressing…even 19 days before her wedding. She’s got work – which includes field trips, game days, and extreme energy and passion. She’s got her volunteer work at church – which requires her committment each weekend. And she’s got everyday life – balancing friends, family, and the fiance. Oh, and did I mention she hasn’t been able to sleep for more than 3 to 4 hours each night?! (She’s going to the doctor this Thursday.) My poor friend…she is going ninety mph in everything she does and doesn’t even have the chance to recharge at night. Does the exhaustion, anticipation, and anxiety sound familiar?
In talking with her the other night, I had one of those moments where real wisdom comes out of nowhere, and afterwards you have to admit that it was a pretty good thought. And now I pass it on to you…
The week before your wedding, pick a day that has nothing else scheduled (you might even have to cancel or move something around for this). That day is YOURS and YOUR FIANCE’S. No one else’s. Spend time together and have one simple rule: no talking about the wedding. Talk about everything else…marriage, work, school, life, etc. Do something together that the two of you absolutely enjoy, something that connects you as a couple. Go out to dinner, have a date night, watch a movie, play in the park, exercise…it is your day…do with it as you please.
This is such an important concept. It stills the hustle and bustle of life and the wedding hype and reconnects you and your (very-soon-to-be) future spouse. It lets you unwind, even if just for the day, and it affirms to you both that the other still has you in high priority. So go look at your calendar now, pick a day and write it down in permanant marker, and genuinely enjoy it when it comes.
Calling all brides-to-be:
Check this out! I found out about it while reading the “Inspired by This” blog (which is one of my new loves.) Anyway, in case you haven’t already clicked on the “this” that I want you to check out, here’s the rundown…Wedding Pre-Party is basically a wedding planning website with a facebook kindof twist. You and your man can invite the bridal party and even the guests to log-in to your personalized site. Once there, everyone can get to know each other through pictures and chatting, so that on the day of your wedding, there won’t be that awkard, half-hearted dance party full of complete strangers-instead your wedding will be rockin’. Not only that, your friends and family can offer up advice and support, and you can even delegate planning tasks all in one easy location. Everyone will be in the know!
All in all, it seems to be a one stop shop. You can create your wedding website through this site, set up a check-list (which is always a life-saver), blog, find vendors, etc. Crazy. Awesome. I love it.
If you decide to use this little treasure, let me know! I’d love to hear real feedback about it, and I’m sure it would help other readers as well.
HOWEVER…haha, you knew there had to be a drawback…ok, there really isn’t a drawback, but I would still encourage you to utilize Texas Hitchin’ Post as well…you can’t beat the deals offered there by vendors, and the Wedding Pre-party site doesn’t offer the pre-marital classes that are absolutely helpful (and save you $60 on your marriage license!).
Wedding Advice from the Hitchin Post Gal! 